I have struggled for years. I've felt guilt, shame, anger, sadness, hopelessness, and rejection, among other things. I wanted to believe so much, and yet I just... couldn't. So many of the things they say don't make any sense, in my head or in my heart. Over the past few days, I have tentatively begun to accept my true feelings are that of an agnostic atheist; I don't know for certain that there aren't any gods, but I don't see any reason to believe that there are.

I feel good about this. I know I still have to do a lot of work on myself to get rid of the more negative thought processes left over by the Baha'i Faith, but I feel comfortable and at peace with my beliefs for the first time. I just wanted to share with some of the people who have the best chance of understanding how I feel.

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